Some relations with family or friends are nurturing. These are the relationships that sustain me. It may be a special relationship that helps me see the truth and appreciate beauty. For example, a coworker and I related like this today. At lunch we talked about our love for and experiences with horses, an animal that I have always considered beautiful. Other parts of our conversation were an attempt to see the truth of situations that we find ourselves in, by sharing insights and impressions. I was glad to take time in my day to spend with this friend.
I am reminded how important my nurturing relationships are with my family and friends by the
passing of one of my true and inspiring friends. First, I will clarify my use of the term nurturing relationships: what is a nurturing relationship? Nurture comes from the same root word as nutrition. Nurturing helps support or sustain. It also can cause growth. A nurturing relationship is one that makes us feel supported and helps us grow to be better people.
Relationships with my immediate family are so deep and special that I cannot even begin to put them into words. These are the people who will persistently tell me the truth about myself that I may not want to hear, and they will tell it again patiently or impatiently until I hear. They care enough to do that. They know that I want to grow as a person and trust that I will be open to the truth.
For example, my son once told me how to be a better listener with specific things to do to listen better and participate more responsibly in conversation. I understood how useful his suggestions were and even took notes at the time. He followed up with coaching in our later conversations. Truth be told, he was probably at his wits’ end with my interruptions and thinking I knew what was being said without really listening. When I was a child, what passed for communication between my mother and me was to talk at each other so I had a lot to learn.
I am happy to be learning to take my time and really hear what is being said. Listening is such a nice way to appreciate another person. I can show someone that they are worth while to me. This may seem like a small thing to do, but in slowing down, I am noticing that the quality of my day is made up of hundreds of small things.
